Happiness = Flexibility

They say happiness is a product of so many things…. The 4 Agreement System, being content with what you have….. Biblical but also a worldly concept but most worldly mindsets don’t really talk about this. A wise friend of mine was telling me about a concept that dawned on her: 

The Secret to Happiness is FLEXIBILITY. 

Which, when you think about it, rings true. 

When one is flexible, It feels like more ‘’OPEN” one is. 

Another saying is being ‘’teachable.’’

I have known people that are unteachable, and i find it very frustrating. 

Able to think outside the box more, use creativity more, problem-solve better.  Find Answers/Solutions quicker. To me, it also makes a lot of sense. 

The definition of flexibility is: 

1. The quality of bending easily without breaking. (Not in the bad sense) that's meaning. 

2. Willingness to change or compromise. 

3. The ability to be easily modified. (Learn new skills, etc.) 

Contentment:

1. In a state of blissful happiness.

2. In a state of happiness. 

3. Satisfy (someone). 

It’s so hard to unlearn discontentment. I am learning this to be satisfied with myself because I knew only dissatisfaction because of certain people’s ‘’opinions’’ ingrained in me. I am proud that I have fought for myself and my self-esteem to be content with what I have (my physical being that my soul resides in). 

Getting back to work in the nursing field again, you have to be flexible in this field and take constructive criticism well. When one only listens to their way or the highway, dissatisfaction breeds times ten. I am glad that I have recovered from this for the most part and flexibility, I learned through working in nursing. Now it's time for me to learn the next level of it. 

It also requires one to be forgiving and believing of oneself. How can you move forward from trauma without this. My trauma wounds were very very deep. So I have had to minister to myself lately to be flexible again to get back to work again. I am looking forward to doing my job better because of the lessons that I had to learn when I was inflexible

Two things I'm trying to work on are openness and flexibility. 

Lili Taylor

I love working with the quartet. I have more freedom and flexibility. 

Boz Scaggs

Flexibility has Youth. 

Diamond Dallas Page

It's All About Perspective

 

Recently, I moved down the hall to my friend's apartment. 

The place I had before was a 2 bedroom apartment. It was much too cold in there for me, when it was cold, among other issues.. 

I knew I needed to downsize, so I had more dollars and could actually have a life. 

Since I have been here, having stuff for a 2 bedroom and then a ROOM, well, that's a bit of an adjustment! 

I have been working on organizing, and keeping it clean isn’t easy. Soon, I will be able to get some items for that…..

I have realized how much everything in life is about ‘’perspective’’ in general.  What we get anxious or stressed about, what we try and put together, or let go of. 

Everything really is about perspective. And also, learning how to think outside the boxes we put ourselves in.  

We can have healthy mindsets and/or unhealthy ones. I put myself under so much pressure in this or that area. Stemmed from learning issues and being held back too much.   

I always have to push through it or step aside and let things go.  I am not a superwoman. I am also not trying to be. I know my limits and work within my abilities as much as possible. Believing in ourselves when we DO need to achieve something is extremely important.  I am also learning drawing and its so easy to get discouraged too soon.  Everything takes practice. The important things in life take practice and positive thinking.  

Patience also. I have to make do and just breathe, as I look around my chaotic room, hoping to be able to take some items to my boyfriends house, later.

What to keep, what to donate, what to discard……..  

Perspective. 

About-turns. 

Change-of-mind…. 

It’s ok, don’t feel guilty! 

Just enjoy the small things in life that are really big. 

Life is so short…  

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.
Chris Pine
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes

Life is about how perspective and how you look at something, ultimately, you have to ZOOM OUT.
Whitney Wilfred Herd
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes

It's not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.
Kristin Armstrong
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes 

Hope on the Horizon

   

This year there is much happening for us politically, relationally,

spiritually. 

With MUCH change on the horizon….

 

One thing I have figured out is how important it is to have things to look ‘’FORWARD TO’’

I was in a really bad space mentally. Too much alone time, not getting out enough…. 

I am doing everything I can for social interaction (cards and games really help me) 

I moved in with a friend down the hall, and doing some other things that I know are available here. 

I wasn’t getting enough stimulation in many areas, and there is still much that I need to explore.  

The importance of things to look forward to when we are not well is so important. 

Time with family and friends/ travel plans/ exploring/

Spontaneous activities. Movies, concerts etc. 

I was stuck in the ‘ol Covid

routines, and I take the bus here, so that’s partly why. 

My schedule tends to revolve around the bus times. 

Things are shifting big time, and so I am looking forward to this, and it is helping me get back to wellness, along with proper meds. 

I have been struggling with anxiety/paranoia as a result of being alone ‘’too much’’. 

My great aunt had this issue and so did another in my life when I

Was younger.  

Found Some anxiety medication and coupled with my Strattera I am doing 

much better. I still have a long way to go though and I am thankful for my 

purpose here and Stephanie being who she is in my life. 

I have lost things but am finding myself again, and I know it can happen 

for you too. It has been a challenging time for many of us. But there is 

always 

        Hope on the Horizon, you just need to see it in the mist. 

(Nahani  Rose J)  

Jan 12/25

________________________________________________________

HOPE IS A GOOD THING, MAYBE THE BEST OF THINGS, AND GOOD THINGS NEVER DIE. - The Shawshank Redemption 

Hope is outreaching desire with expectancy of GOOD. It is a characteristic of ALL living beings. - Edward S. Ame 

• “Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.” — Jonas Salk

Writing a Gratitude Letter

 September 23/2024                  

 Writing a Gratitude Letter 

FIRST WATCH THIS VIDEO YOUTUBE VIDEO! 

We all have those people in our lives that are close to us, in our family or family members that they are close to. I call it ‘’clashing.’’ I am currently doing a workshop for the first time here, where I am, called “Happiness Basics,’’ and, it really HAS been an awesome experience!

This course shows us breathing techniques, meditations, talks about nutrition, and anything that can help us improve our self-care/self-love

routines. 

I have been struggling, as I have lived by myself for a while, now and so I dug around for anything that could help me. Getting out of the house more than I have been. I plan on doing Anxiety to Calm next. And one on Relationships after. 

On Week 3, we did a FLOW activity. They gave it to us for Homework, and last week it was show and tell for it. Literally, those of us who did it brought it in. Some brought sewing/art. Normally, that would have been me as it is one of my FLOWS. Oh yeah, so is writing!

My other one is being in the kitchen and cooking a meal or baking things for people, as I live by myself currently, and it really helps me not feel as alone as I can at times. I am planning to make a business out of it! I am learning to be like a local chef in my family, and it's been very therapeutic.

So, as I mentioned, the Gratitude Letter! You write a short letter - and then - get this, read it OUT LOUD to the person!!! 

Over the phone or distance, we sure don’t expect things like this on an everyday basis.

We get soooo caught up in this life stuff. 

Working, raising kids, running errands, household chores, planning our next meals, going on holidays, etc. 

My person was someone I have clashed with most of my life. Doesn’t understand my disability well, or how to work with it but is doing her best now. That has made life even harder for me but I am stubborn and keep chugging along. IT felt super awesome saying some of the needed things, as she isn’t always around me to know everything going on, it was important to share some of it this way. 

This letter is the beginning of a new relationship! The smile I got in response, I could tell It made her day! 

The RELEASE that I felt in my heart after was what I WASN’T EXPECTING.

I was crying it slowly built up and then POOF! it was just there.

I HAD to share this experience. A couple of other things happened that day and in the end, we had a phone call and I was able to say I love you and so did she. I haven’t heard that very often, verbally.  I am still processing it! I also had one of the best SLEEPS I ever had after. This relationship has been a very rocky one,
to say the least. My daughter in our lives has REALLY changed it for the better.  It’s been very difficult for us. But we have grown together, and this will help set the stage for the next stage of it.

We are still learning how to have fun together, and when we do, it's sweet. Emotional, really powerful. I discovered having fun with a person helps to heal the relationship.

LIfe has no magic formula, but, in a way, this is one that is very helpful and I thought it would be a good piece to start with for this project. 

I hope some of you try this out and have an amazing experience like I did! 

Written by: 

Nahani Rose

Sept 23, 2024

Joseph Tyler Phillips - Living with Emanuel Syndrome

 

My son, Tyler, was born (in 1992) before his genetic abnormality was even named!
When looking for information, I kept finding the same single page of minimal information. Then I found a support group on the very young internet. All information at the time was in print in the form of newsletters.

Tyler was different health-wise than most other children featured in the newsletter. I treated him as normally as possible, even with his obvious issues of being nonverbal and developmental delays.

He was diagnosed with leukemia in 2004. He was treated and is a survivor!

Fast forward to Facebook! I was reunited with the support group! Seeing the many other children like Tyler from around the world has been so amazing!

Comparing, discussing, and knowing we are not alone has been amazing! What a special family we have!

Tyler is now 30 years old! What a true miracle he is!

Thanks to Chromosome 22 Central!

-Allyson

Kaysen - Living with Emanuel Syndrome

My son is Kaysen he is 7 years old. Kaysen is the strongest person I know. Every day no matter what is going on with him he has a smile on his face. We were told at about 20 weeks Kaysen would have Emanuel syndrome and my world came crashing down, But Kaysen quickly taught me the meaning of life and showed me real love, resilience, strength, faith, and much more! Kaysen can walk assisted and take steps unassisted, he can eat by mouth, and can communicate using pictures and eye gaze when he wants of course. I might be biased, but he is also so beautiful inside and out. 

  

You can find Kaysen pretty much always with his leg crossed, laughing at Mickey Mouse, or trying to convince someone to spin him around for thrills. I thank God every day for my amazing little man. I chose to share Kaysen with the world to be able to help a mom overcome their diagnosis or to help a family find the right diagnosis.

-Tracy

Nobody ever says, " I wanna be a special needs mom."

Nobody ever says, " I wanna be a special needs mom."
Except me.
I remember when it happened.
I was in the grocery store and a little developmentally disabled boy came walking in with his mommy.
He was smiling so big, swinging his held hand as he walked,
And he looked like he didn't have a worry in the world.
I remember looking at my husband and telling him that if G-d chose to bless us with a special needs child I would happily be their mother.
And then my son was born and I forget all about that.
I remember how stiff he was when we brought him home and how I knew from the first night that there was something "wrong."
I remember laying awake all night wondering what was going to happen to him,
Would he ever be "normal?"
Would he walk? Would he talk?
I made his story my victimhood.
I wished he was normal.
I wept for the loss of the babyhood of my last child.
I grieved the hard life he would inevitably have.
And then one day something changed.
One day I remembered that moment in the grocery store with that smiling boy, and I realized.
THIS IS MY SON.
He is a child with special needs and he was always going to be that.
That is who HE is and who he came here to be.
My son doesn't have special needs,
A special needs child is MY SON.
And it was at that moment that everything changed.
Instead of looking at him (and me) as a victim I started looking at us as a team.
A couple of souls solving a puzzle.
A puzzle of how to live a fulfilled life.
I started to celebrate his inchstones instead of mourning milestones.
I started to be grateful for the skills he gained and not the ones he was still struggling with.
CAN I JUST TELL YOU WHAT A DIFFERENCE THAT MADE?
What a shift I had simply loving who he was without trying to make him into something I wished he was?
Something I felt reflected poorly on me?
I wish I could tell you I no longer struggle with his struggle, but it wouldn't be true.
I still catch myself wondering what it would be like if he sat up or if he could talk.
I still slip into worry about what will happen to him when we are gone...
But those times are now fewer and far between,
As we settle into this greatest adventure of our lives.
and it isn't parenting a special needs child.
It's loving what is...
and being grateful for the gift of the journey
and of this precious magical little man who "calls" me mom.

-AmyLee

Living with 22q11.2 Deletion

Living with 22q11, short-term memory/processing issues. (Non-verbal learning disability). Going through ten years of family, being single, living by myself-being on disability (but have other stuff that helps somewhat) 

My friends and family that do support me the way I need it are my lifeline- as I have mentioned in previous posts. 

Also, the fact that I am VERY STUBBORN and HAVE A DAUGHTER. She is what keeps me moving.

Everything that’s hard is usually a communication thing, which is ten times better than ten years ago. How I process emotions and stress. I have to keep my stress levels low. 

Living with this condition is an uphill battle for me, only because I have scoliosis and what’s mentioned above, and I have a young face and heart and I get treated as a child, and like I don’t know anything. 

Certain things open the door for people to give their opinions, and advice when it isn’t being asked for and isn’t always needed. 

Learning issues (which are more like communication), I often struggle to figure this or that out depending on what it is. I need to be careful to keep myself out of certain environments because too much happening around me stresses me out. 

Depending on what it is. 

But I also love to learn new things and new skills, and this also keeps me going.  

The whole rigmarole of today’s expenses, living by myself in an amazing but expensive place, and the bills on top of it. Trying to get everything for ‘’entertaining’’ in the kitchen as well as other household needs in my rebuilding process - I desperately need more people (12 years by myself) including COVID. No room for travel. No room for a vehicle. As I keep saying. My support system and my daughter, I am grateful to have what I do. So glad that I came back to Red Deer, where I finally met someone local, and we are doing very well getting to know each other. 

I feel a little frazzled between bills and needing things personally but also household-wise because I have decluttered my whole life because of being in apartment settings. Thankfully, everyone is decluttering or purging which is helping me now…..  

I have an interesting time figuring out ‘’some’’ new things, but I do like problem-solving at least, and learning new skills. Sometimes you just need a second brain around, which is finally in the works for me and I am not doing everything ‘’mostly’’ by myself.  

Really, the key is having good support around. Staying close to the ones that do.

I had a habit of pushing things away before, and have learned now that I cannot do this unless it is a safety or self-care, or mental wellness issue. 

The key to survival, also, I believe, is not having anger or bitterness, or jealousy in the body/soul. I have had to work on this because of things and forever being thankful and grateful.  

Not taking anything, or ANYONE for granted.  

Where I am now, compared to ten years ago, I am proud of!

And I wouldn’t change anything for the world.  My daughter and where she is has helped my family function better, communicate better, and appreciate our differences more.  The pain is worth it sometimes. It changes us and makes everything better in the end. 

HOLD ON TO THE ONES YOU LOVE, ESPECIALLY IN THESE TIMES WITH OUR WORLD CHANGING. IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH OTHERS, DO SO. LIFE IS SO EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS. 

Just Push Through

 

When you are a kid, you want everything to come easy, if it’s too hard, you tend to go the other way, without lack of encouragement or ‘’pushing’’ gently from other sources. 

This is one of my greatest difficulties, with my back the way it is, and my learning challenges/work challenges.  

One of my new friends said one thing that will stick with me, I believe, and it is 

Just push through. 

It will help me now, in EVERYTHING.  

Why do we love the easy button so much?  

There are so many things I need to model for my daughter, and this is definitely one of them… 

Despite how you are feeling, you have to ignore it at times.  Not always possible, you also have to do things wisely still, and within the right boundaries.  

Getting up and going to work, when you can hardly move a muscle or every bone aches. 

When you feel depressed, force yourself out of bed to go and do AT LEAST ONE THING to feel productive and feel better all the way around.  

It is hard to push through headaches, this is one thing I know.  But, anything that you can push through - you gotta push.  

Certain things always need to get done, household, personal care, and family member care. Yardwork.  

We never want things to go like they are not being looked after.  

Just push through.  

Push through Covid. Push through supply issues. Push through personal needs, and household needs. Push through. 

When you love someone or something, you put all your needs aside at times, to do what’s needed for them.  

Just push through.  

A breakup, a scammer, a relationship let down.  A divorce, a job loss.  

                                 Just push through!

WE GOT THIS!  Life has been challenging for me, but I have accomplished MUCH recently - feeling proud helps you push through! 

***********************************


Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.' -Mary Anne Radmacher, American author and artist

Ask yourself this question: 'Will this matter a year from now?'--Richard Carlson, American psychotherapist and author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

“The best way out is always through.” Robert Frost

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.--Confucius (551-479 BC), philosopher

Written by Nahani Rose, August 2022

Living with 22q

If You Need ANYTHING, Let ME KNOW!

Do you have someone in your life who is always angry, or angry at you?  

These last few years were very trying but good for the people around me - who needed to learn more supportive ways - more loving ways.  

Not arms distance love.  

Often, when there are unhealthy dynamics in a relationship, our focus is on the other person, and what THEY are doing wrong.  

The statement above was the beginning of a new relationship with a family member.

When this statement is spoken, with sincerity, the person realizes that you really care for them.  It also breaks the ice, because they realize you are sincere, no matter what kind of issue is going on. 

Some people aren’t in the business of ‘’forgiving’’ or ‘’forgetting.’’

But taking things off yourself helps them to feel more at ease, and eventually things fall away.  

I used to think things had to be ‘’discussed’’ and ‘’resolved’’ in a concrete manner. 

This isn’t always true, you can tell at times if there is anger towards you just by comments, actions, etc..  Things can be ‘’let go of.’’ So, we can cherish each other during those times.  

During the EASY Times as well as the HARD times.

Expressing oneself freely, with no strings attached, no conditional love (how I was raised),  breaks down walls and barriers and wrong mindsets and beliefs. 

Sometimes it will take time, but this did work for me.  And I continue to use it.  Love has no bounds.  It can not ‘’have expectations.’’ It cannot be told what to do.  

LOVE has a mind of its own, just as the heart does.  

I have learned very much, how much the heart and mind do NOT work together.  

Listen to your heart always. Be humble.  

This is what makes things go from negative to positive and brings change. 

Listen to your heart.

 “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.“ – Robert Louis Stevenson

“Pearls don’t lie on the seashore. If you want one, you must dive for it.” – Chinese proverb

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand 

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” – Denis Waitley

 

Written by: 

Nahani Rose 

July 25, 2022