Tuesday, 19 April 2022

Our Feelings Matter

 


When I was younger, if I had an issue with anything, certain responses were always "just put up with it, ignore it," etc….. Because people didn’t know how to deal with things or resolve them, or help me to feel better, ever. There were never even any hugs given, or I love you’s when I really needed it. 


Because of this, it causes one to feel like they have to stuff away everything they feel when they aren’t given a chance to be heard, or acknowledged. Regardless of whether people can handle a subject or help make someone feel better without it being something like candy or chocolate… (This was the answer back then. It was a ‘’temporary’’ solution and only distracted from the matter.) In the end, what do you feel? More mad, more frustrated.  


As self-care seems to be an ongoing theme for me, an important part of self-care is also knowing when to speak up.


Even when you feel like you won’t be heard, the effort has to be made at some point. 


I believe in healthy give and take, and healthy relationships call for both parties to have a voice, be heard, and feel heard. Experience forgiveness, an apology (letting go of one's pride, accepting when they have done someone wrong, making a conscious effort to NOT do it again, along with serious efforts to fix an issue when there is sincere love. 


In this Covid/war world, we have too much thinking time - and I am looking forward to having some long-awaited things at least attempted to be dealt with, “maybe some nice surprises come out of it?’’ and maybe finding some love from some of these people I deal with. I am also needing to take on some martial arts later, and also plan on learning some more assertiveness skills for myself and my daughters’ sake.  


To Be Continued!

Written by Nahani Johnson, April 2022
Living with 22q

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