Happiness = Flexibility

They say happiness is a product of so many things…. The 4 Agreement System, being content with what you have….. Biblical but also a worldly concept but most worldly mindsets don’t really talk about this. A wise friend of mine was telling me about a concept that dawned on her: 

The Secret to Happiness is FLEXIBILITY. 

Which, when you think about it, rings true. 

When one is flexible, It feels like more ‘’OPEN” one is. 

Another saying is being ‘’teachable.’’

I have known people that are unteachable, and i find it very frustrating. 

Able to think outside the box more, use creativity more, problem-solve better.  Find Answers/Solutions quicker. To me, it also makes a lot of sense. 

The definition of flexibility is: 

1. The quality of bending easily without breaking. (Not in the bad sense) that's meaning. 

2. Willingness to change or compromise. 

3. The ability to be easily modified. (Learn new skills, etc.) 

Contentment:

1. In a state of blissful happiness.

2. In a state of happiness. 

3. Satisfy (someone). 

It’s so hard to unlearn discontentment. I am learning this to be satisfied with myself because I knew only dissatisfaction because of certain people’s ‘’opinions’’ ingrained in me. I am proud that I have fought for myself and my self-esteem to be content with what I have (my physical being that my soul resides in). 

Getting back to work in the nursing field again, you have to be flexible in this field and take constructive criticism well. When one only listens to their way or the highway, dissatisfaction breeds times ten. I am glad that I have recovered from this for the most part and flexibility, I learned through working in nursing. Now it's time for me to learn the next level of it. 

It also requires one to be forgiving and believing of oneself. How can you move forward from trauma without this. My trauma wounds were very very deep. So I have had to minister to myself lately to be flexible again to get back to work again. I am looking forward to doing my job better because of the lessons that I had to learn when I was inflexible

Two things I'm trying to work on are openness and flexibility. 

Lili Taylor

I love working with the quartet. I have more freedom and flexibility. 

Boz Scaggs

Flexibility has Youth. 

Diamond Dallas Page

It's All About Perspective

 

Recently, I moved down the hall to my friend's apartment. 

The place I had before was a 2 bedroom apartment. It was much too cold in there for me, when it was cold, among other issues.. 

I knew I needed to downsize, so I had more dollars and could actually have a life. 

Since I have been here, having stuff for a 2 bedroom and then a ROOM, well, that's a bit of an adjustment! 

I have been working on organizing, and keeping it clean isn’t easy. Soon, I will be able to get some items for that…..

I have realized how much everything in life is about ‘’perspective’’ in general.  What we get anxious or stressed about, what we try and put together, or let go of. 

Everything really is about perspective. And also, learning how to think outside the boxes we put ourselves in.  

We can have healthy mindsets and/or unhealthy ones. I put myself under so much pressure in this or that area. Stemmed from learning issues and being held back too much.   

I always have to push through it or step aside and let things go.  I am not a superwoman. I am also not trying to be. I know my limits and work within my abilities as much as possible. Believing in ourselves when we DO need to achieve something is extremely important.  I am also learning drawing and its so easy to get discouraged too soon.  Everything takes practice. The important things in life take practice and positive thinking.  

Patience also. I have to make do and just breathe, as I look around my chaotic room, hoping to be able to take some items to my boyfriends house, later.

What to keep, what to donate, what to discard……..  

Perspective. 

About-turns. 

Change-of-mind…. 

It’s ok, don’t feel guilty! 

Just enjoy the small things in life that are really big. 

Life is so short…  

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.
Chris Pine
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes

Life is about how perspective and how you look at something, ultimately, you have to ZOOM OUT.
Whitney Wilfred Herd
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes

It's not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities.
Kristin Armstrong
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/perspective-quotes 

Hope on the Horizon

   

This year there is much happening for us politically, relationally,

spiritually. 

With MUCH change on the horizon….

 

One thing I have figured out is how important it is to have things to look ‘’FORWARD TO’’

I was in a really bad space mentally. Too much alone time, not getting out enough…. 

I am doing everything I can for social interaction (cards and games really help me) 

I moved in with a friend down the hall, and doing some other things that I know are available here. 

I wasn’t getting enough stimulation in many areas, and there is still much that I need to explore.  

The importance of things to look forward to when we are not well is so important. 

Time with family and friends/ travel plans/ exploring/

Spontaneous activities. Movies, concerts etc. 

I was stuck in the ‘ol Covid

routines, and I take the bus here, so that’s partly why. 

My schedule tends to revolve around the bus times. 

Things are shifting big time, and so I am looking forward to this, and it is helping me get back to wellness, along with proper meds. 

I have been struggling with anxiety/paranoia as a result of being alone ‘’too much’’. 

My great aunt had this issue and so did another in my life when I

Was younger.  

Found Some anxiety medication and coupled with my Strattera I am doing 

much better. I still have a long way to go though and I am thankful for my 

purpose here and Stephanie being who she is in my life. 

I have lost things but am finding myself again, and I know it can happen 

for you too. It has been a challenging time for many of us. But there is 

always 

        Hope on the Horizon, you just need to see it in the mist. 

(Nahani  Rose J)  

Jan 12/25

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HOPE IS A GOOD THING, MAYBE THE BEST OF THINGS, AND GOOD THINGS NEVER DIE. - The Shawshank Redemption 

Hope is outreaching desire with expectancy of GOOD. It is a characteristic of ALL living beings. - Edward S. Ame 

• “Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.” — Jonas Salk

Acceptance

Re-Alignment of Reality….

When it comes to matters of health - we sometimes run away from what we know to be true about ourselves;

Because of a stigma or fear in other areas. Fear of being judged, treated differently, bullying, etc. Rejected, or other. 

When it comes to wellness, many of us are learning how to take better care of ourselves. 

I am at the ripe old age of 48 - going on to 49!  I have never really ‘’Felt GOOD’’ until I started prioritizing certain areas more than others. I am finally ‘’starting to feel good!’’ 

I am realizing I am sure I have a certain other condition mentally, and it is scary, but knowing who I have known in my life, who I once dated, whom I have also worked with in disabilities - I have some clarity in it. 

We tend to like ‘’familiarity.’’

Freedom comes in acceptance. NOT in fighting the uphill battle. Acceptance and loving ourselves for who we are, what we need for treatment, and not being ashamed. We are made how we are made. 

Period. 

Align Expectations with Reality.

I have a daughter, and I am so thankful she is in my life, to help me keep going with my head high. I have friends and family that help me along the way in my journey. This part that I have to accept is easier because I KNOW that I KNOW I am where I am supposed to be. 

I am living. 

I need to be even better now, so I am taking a step in acceptance so I can feel even better.  

Letting go of fear is necessary. 

STIGMA is everywhere, I am used to it anyway. 

LIFE is Hard at times. 

Hard things happen for bigger reasons that we don’t yet know….. That hindsight is 20/20 thing…. 

I am looking forward to the next step in my wellness, and thankful for my support. I hope that you have support wherever you are and that you find more if it's needed.

It makes all the difference. 

Nahani Rose J

November 19th, 2024

Being Thankful and Grateful for the Hard Times Gets You Through It

 

 

We all experience deep hurts and things in life that are hard to get past. I have learned so much about thankfulness every day to be in the moment. Thankful for my daily struggles, as I have a reason to keep going and will never give up. I used to give up the second something got ‘’hard.’’

Thanksgiving and Christmas can be difficult for some of us.  Being positive really does help get through the rough time and keep going. Then you look back and see how you ‘’got through it’’

Wow, how did I get THROUGH that? 

Each difficulty makes me just be that more stubborn.  Having a child at this time in my life, 13 years ago, I am now 47 going on 48. I am thankful for having her at this time.  She makes the harder things easier. She helps give me the motivation to always strive to be the better version of myself.  

I have found proper meds for myself that are now helping me to sleep(just the combination and what they are doing in my brain for me. It has taken THIS long for me to get regular REM Sleep. I now have energy that I have never had in my life! I have clarity in career ‘’wellness coach, possibly yoga instructor.’’ I am able to further my education now, and work my butt off because of my own journey in weight loss and mental health. 

I would like to be involved in the mental health field as well. 

When you are where you belong things happen. Sometimes it's Slowly, I am a late bloomer, and glad that It can happen now as my attitudes have always been better late than never! 

Guided Meditation can truly help one overcome this or that area, or has for myself. Learning how to be quiet, calm enjoying the ‘’present.’’ 

Keep your chin up and the positivity vibes going in ANYTHING. 

NOTHING can take that away from us, and how your spirit handles the ups and downs of life!

• "Sometimes, when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place." — Unknown

• 
  

• “Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” —Ruth Bader Ginsburg

_Nahani Rose

Writing a Gratitude Letter

 September 23/2024                  

 Writing a Gratitude Letter 

FIRST WATCH THIS VIDEO YOUTUBE VIDEO! 

We all have those people in our lives that are close to us, in our family or family members that they are close to. I call it ‘’clashing.’’ I am currently doing a workshop for the first time here, where I am, called “Happiness Basics,’’ and, it really HAS been an awesome experience!

This course shows us breathing techniques, meditations, talks about nutrition, and anything that can help us improve our self-care/self-love

routines. 

I have been struggling, as I have lived by myself for a while, now and so I dug around for anything that could help me. Getting out of the house more than I have been. I plan on doing Anxiety to Calm next. And one on Relationships after. 

On Week 3, we did a FLOW activity. They gave it to us for Homework, and last week it was show and tell for it. Literally, those of us who did it brought it in. Some brought sewing/art. Normally, that would have been me as it is one of my FLOWS. Oh yeah, so is writing!

My other one is being in the kitchen and cooking a meal or baking things for people, as I live by myself currently, and it really helps me not feel as alone as I can at times. I am planning to make a business out of it! I am learning to be like a local chef in my family, and it's been very therapeutic.

So, as I mentioned, the Gratitude Letter! You write a short letter - and then - get this, read it OUT LOUD to the person!!! 

Over the phone or distance, we sure don’t expect things like this on an everyday basis.

We get soooo caught up in this life stuff. 

Working, raising kids, running errands, household chores, planning our next meals, going on holidays, etc. 

My person was someone I have clashed with most of my life. Doesn’t understand my disability well, or how to work with it but is doing her best now. That has made life even harder for me but I am stubborn and keep chugging along. IT felt super awesome saying some of the needed things, as she isn’t always around me to know everything going on, it was important to share some of it this way. 

This letter is the beginning of a new relationship! The smile I got in response, I could tell It made her day! 

The RELEASE that I felt in my heart after was what I WASN’T EXPECTING.

I was crying it slowly built up and then POOF! it was just there.

I HAD to share this experience. A couple of other things happened that day and in the end, we had a phone call and I was able to say I love you and so did she. I haven’t heard that very often, verbally.  I am still processing it! I also had one of the best SLEEPS I ever had after. This relationship has been a very rocky one,
to say the least. My daughter in our lives has REALLY changed it for the better.  It’s been very difficult for us. But we have grown together, and this will help set the stage for the next stage of it.

We are still learning how to have fun together, and when we do, it's sweet. Emotional, really powerful. I discovered having fun with a person helps to heal the relationship.

LIfe has no magic formula, but, in a way, this is one that is very helpful and I thought it would be a good piece to start with for this project. 

I hope some of you try this out and have an amazing experience like I did! 

Written by: 

Nahani Rose

Sept 23, 2024

A Favourite Christmas Memory of Steven

My favorite memory of Steven was the day he "let go" and walked independently for the first time. It was Christmas Eve, 22 years ago in the year 2000. We were spending Christmas with Sherry's family in Barrie, Ontario. There wasn't much space for Steven to move around in his walker at Grandma's house. He used a large square metal frame walker, with castors at the four corners of the base, and with a padded hoop around his chest. He was pretty good at scooting around our house in it, but Grandma's didn't have much space.

We bundled up and I drove over to the local shopping mall for some exercise. At that time Steven would walk pretty well as long as I held one hand or the other, or both. His balance was not great, and with the rigid AFO's his gait was quite akin to Frankenstein. I needed to be alert for any changes in grade, floor texture, floor colour, metal thresholds, sidewalk cracks and steps-because Steven was unable to distinguish such changes as being hazardous. When walking him and such a change was at hand, we would stop and provide a cue to step over or up carefully. Being Christmas Eve, the mall was quite busy with last-minute shoppers. After parking, Steven and I walked through the slushy parking lot and into the mall. Once inside I had him sit on a bench to remove his snow boots and coat and put them in the backpack.

Prior to that day, Steven had never taken independent steps. On this day, however, Steven was more inquisitive than usual. For some reason, the circular racks of clothing on sale for Christmas drew his attention, and he would pull me towards them so he could look closely at the colours, feel the textures, and touch the tags. If there was any back-lit signage he would pull me over to touch and tap them- such was his pleasure.

As we walked along I hoped to avoid a particular clothing rack that held some more expensive items and began leading Steven around it in a wide arc. Surprisingly, he shook away my hand and took two tentative steps toward his target before I got ahold of his hand again. I thought he had done this intentionally, but I wasn't sure.
It was getting close to suppertime so we worked our way back to the mall entrance. Along the way, he again shook away my hand to step toward something. This again seemed intentional, but I wasn't sure.

I parked Steven on the bench and got his snow boots, winter coat, and toque on him. Directly across from this bench was situated a brightly lit Jewelry store. As soon as I got Steven to his feet, he was off, all on his own, towards that store entrance. When he had crossed the tiled floor of the mall, he stopped at the point where the tile ended and the carpet of the Jewelry store began. Steven carefully raised his left foot and stepped onto the carpet, as if it may have represented a change in height. Steven then took three more careful independent steps and slapped his hands on the glass display case filled with bright, beautiful shining trinkets. He also put his drooling face on the glass and smiled with joy.
I will always remember that Christmas Eve as the day Steven achieved his greatest skill, and with it, the ability to explore, to choose, and to communicate his wishes.

Steven still wanders off when he's out with me, if only for a few steps on his own. His support workers get kind of freaked out when he wanders from the cart at Walmart or the grocery store. But for me, it still makes me so very proud and happy for Steven, and as long as he is able I want him to enjoy this taste of freedom.
Thank you Steven for this gift, my favorite Christmas memory.